Cultural Heritage

Sometimes I will wonder what race am I. I introduce myself as a half Chinese and half Malay. Some people said I'm more towards Chinese. So, what am I? In my IC, it's stated that I'm a bumi (surprise right!). To me, I don't think myself as neither a bumi or Chinese.

This week during English class, we were learning basically about multiculturalism and bilingual education. As I have mentioned above, I introduce myself as a half Chinese and half Malay. So, I know only half of the Chinese culture and half of the Malay culture. You may wonder how I was brought up. Well, I was brought up by my aunt who is a Chinese. You may argue that I should know everything about Chinese culture. The problem is that since I'm a Muslim, my aunt didn't teach me much about Chinese culture. Maybe she thought it was unnecessary. Well, I know only about the culture from what I saw her doing and by questioning her. I did not mix much with Malays until I come here, at KBU. This is the first time I have so many Malay friends. Obviously, I came from a Chinese school and all my friends including my BFF's are Chinese. My teachers were mostly Chinese, my tuition friends were Chinese, even the cousin that I'm close with is a Chinese.

I seldom mix with my Malay cousins which are all from my mother's side. I'm not even close with my grandparents from my mother's side. But I do respect them and tried to be a good granddaughter. I see only my aunts, uncles and cousins during Hari Raya. Other than Hari Raya, I don't even know what happens to them. The reason that I seldom mix with them may be caused by the language barrier (surprise again!). Yup! My BM sucks. To the Chinese my BM may sound right but to the Malays, my BM is weird. Totally weird. I didn't know that until last year when one of my friends from my part time job told me. The reason that my BM sucks may be due to the fact that I speak BM only with my mother. Seriously. Even Mr. Derick's BM is better than mine! I don't understand any of the slang and I can only guess when I'm listening to one of them.

I'm very confused. I don't know what cultural heritage I own. I cannot be a Chinese as I don't look like one. I cannot be a Malay as I don't fully adapt to the Malay culture and I do not speak BM like most Malays do. So what race am I? Maybe one fine day I should sit down together with my parents and ask them this question. However, although it's very confusing, I'm glad that I'm born with two different kinds of blood running through my veins. It makes me different from other people. I love speaking in Mandarin, Cantonese and also Malay at the same time (like what I always do at home). Whenever I look myself in the mirror, I see both my father (the Chinese side of me) and my mother (the Malay side of me).